You are Beautiful

I would like to start the blogpost with the following quote by Naomi Wolf :"The Beauty Myth-an obsession with physical perfection that traps the modern woman in an endless spiral of hopelessness, self-consciousness and self-hatred as she tries to fulfil society's impossible definition of flawless beauty."

I can definitively identify myself with this quote, as I am in constant battle with how I look, compared to all the other seemingly beautiful women in the media. I am under constant pressure to look "good". Society tells us that having a perfect hourglass body shape is "beautiful"; Society also tells us that fuller lips are "beautiful"; Society tells us we are only "beautiful" with a full face of make up on; Society tells us we only look “beautiful” with long weaves.

I know many of us women struggle with this, especially with the pressure that comes with social media. We always want to look "snatched" and our confidence increases by the likes and compliments we receive. Or by the compliments/ attention we receive from men.

There was a time, when I would not leave my house without make up on.  I used to get anxiety if I stepped out of the house without make up on. I only felt beautiful with make up on. I did not want people to see my flaws.

When I started growing my natural hair, I always made sure that my hair was either braided or hidden under weaves. I did not feel confident leaving my house  with my natural hair, as society did not perceive it as beautiful and neither did I.

I would envy girls, who had "curvier body shapes" and be depressed about it. At times I even cried because of my dissatisfaction with my own body. I can honestly say that I hated my body. Sometimes I still struggle with it. Even to the point that I doubt that any man would find me desirable.  Even though God has put it in my heart that I will marry one day, my lack of self-confidence stops me from believing. Often times self-confidence issues holds us back from going after the things we desire because we do not feel  good enough.

However, I have been trying to be confident in my own skin, which at times has been difficult. But I have been reminding myself that I am fearfully and wonderfully made (Psalm 139:14). My value does not depend on my body shape, how much make up I wear or how my hair looks. My value is in Christ.

If you are reading this and you are struggling with self-confidence or self hatred remember:

You are BEAUTIFUL 

You are VALUABLE 

You are UNIQUE

You are made in God’s IMAGE

 I would like to share some verses with you:

'You are altogether beautiful, my darling; there is no flaw in you.' (Solomon 4:7)

'She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.' (Proverbs 31:25)

'Your workmanship is marvelous – how well I know it.' (Psalm 139:13 – 14)

'For we are God’s masterpiece...' (Ephasians  2:10)

'God is within her, she will not fall; God will help her at break of day.' (Psalm 46:5)

'She is worth far more than rubies.' (Proverbs 31:10)

By knowing who you are in Christ, you can face the world without the pressure of trying to fit in today’s society’s definition of “beautiful”.  You are chosen, valuable, beautiful, unique and secure. We are all uniquely made and our uniqueness makes us beautiful. You were never created to be someone else other than yourself. ❤️

This Year....

It’s been a year since I last posted a blog post. This year has been very difficult for me in terms of work and Uni. I will definitely write a blog post on this.

As 2018 is approaching, what are you trusting God for? Is it something that you prayed for last year and you are choosing to trust God again? Are you trusting God for your dream job, dream house, to finally meet your future spouse etc.?

I remember when I completed my first degree in 2013, I trusted God for a legal job every year. But when I was applying for jobs, all I received were rejections. I then started to question my purpose in life and even regretted studying law.

In December 2015, I remember crying out to God, telling him that I give up and I no longer want to seek a career in the legal field, as I thought that it was clearly not for me.  But God thought otherwise 🙌🏿: my prayers were answered in May 2016. 

That season of my life taught me to trust in God’s promises. He will never disappoint you. My relationship with God has been growing since. I learnt that everything will happen at its appointed time. There’s a reason for the delay and all we need to do is to trust Him.  

I applied this in every aspect of my life, especially during my season of singleness. I was one of these girls who would pray “next year by this time I will meet my future husband” and still single on 31^st December 🙈. 

I hope this post encourages someone. God hears your prayers, even though it does not look like it. Continue to pray and trust God. He will not disappoint you. His plan is to prosper you not to harm you.

Lamentations 3:25-33 (MSG)

25-27 God proves to be good to the man who passionately waits, to the woman who diligently seeks. It’s a good thing to quietly hope, quietly hope for help from God. It’s a good thing when you’re young to stick it out through the hard times.

28-30 When life is heavy and hard to take,  go off by yourself. Enter the silence.

Bow in prayer. Don’t ask questions: Wait for hope to appear. Don’t run from trouble. Take it full-face. The “worst” is never the worst.

31-33  Why? Because the Master won’t ever walk out and fail to return.

If he works severely, he also works tenderly. His stockpiles of loyal love are immense. He takes no pleasure in making life hard, in throwing roadblocks in the way:..”

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 (ESV)

“Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.”

I wish you all a Happy New Year 😘 🎉

 Ps. I will post more frequently in 2018 🙏🏾

Dealing with Anxiety

I know it's been a while. Last couple months were quite hectic. I recently started studying again and had difficulties juggling work and study. I hope to write a post on how to juggle work and study in the near future. :)

So today I would like to talk about anxiety. What does anxiety mean? Anxiety is defined as 'A feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease about something with an uncertain outcome'.

When I started my course, I had a lot of anxiety. At the moment, I am working full-time and studying part-time. As soon it started to get stressful, I started to get very anxious. I was worried that I would not be able to pass the course and even thought of quitting. I was literally wondering why I was doing this to myself. I was comfortable just working. On top of that, I started to worry how I was going to pay for the course. My biggest anxiety has always been finances since I did my first degree.

I would even worry about things that are in the future.  But what I have learnt through this season of my life, is that I need to feed my mind with God's word, reminding myself that God does not want me to feel anxious; that I need to trust him and that he hears my prayers.

 As it says in Philipians 4:6-7: Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.'

When I had anxiety all I wanted to do is to stay in bed all day, I wouldn't want to talk to anyone. I purposely wouldn't pick up phone calls, because I didn't want any contact with people. I would literally be angry with everyone. 

When we worry, it literally robs us of our peace. But we always need to remind ourselves that need to put our faith in God and stop trying to figure things out.

I would like to encourage anyone, who is feeling anxious, that you cast all your anxiety to God. We need to let go, and stop trying to control everything. I believe when we worry, we believe that God is not able to do the things that we are praying for. We think that it doesn't sound realistic or the way things are going it doesn't look like what we are praying for will come to pass

Please know that God does not want you to feel anxious and that He wants you to put your trust in Him not in men or even yourself.  As the bible says, there is nothing impossible for God.

Matthew 6:25-34

'25“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? 26Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life^e ?

28“And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? 31So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.'

I hope the post has blessed you xx

I wish you a Happy New Year! 

Confession of a Single Christian Woman

So I am going to be a bit vulnerable right now. Lately, I have been feeling very down. I hate feeling this way. God has been so faithful; there shouldn’t be anything I should feel sad about.

I have been single for over 5 years now. I decided to concentrate on myself and grow in my relationship with God. I have grown so much in the 5 years. In my opinion, during your singleness you can learn so much and get to know yourself as a person. 

Lately, I have been struggling with my singleness. A lot of people around me are getting married, having children. I am probably not the only one, but when I was younger I used to say that I will be married by 25 and have children by 26. Well, that’s not how it worked out.  I am 27 and single.

I’ve been getting silly thoughts like “You won’t ever have a life partner; you won’t get married before 30 etc.” I would literally feel fear when I had these thoughts and get very sad about it.  I would get very upset when I get comments like you will get married soon. My response to that is always, yeah whatever, as I “didn’t” see it happening any time soon. Or I would get comments like how are you going to meet anyone, if you only stay at home. (These comments used make me upset, even though I knew it came from a good place).

All this made me feel depressed about my singleness.  However, I may not be married right now or in a relationship, may not get married before 30, but God has done so much in my life that I am thankful for. He is a faithful God. My friend recently told me, that I should praise God more during this season of my life. She’s totally right. I feel like a lot of us only praise God when He has answered our prayers. He has done and is going to do so much in our life beyond our imagination. I literally can’t wait to see what He has in store for my life.

I hope this post will encourage someone. I felt very nervous sharing this. Know that God has a great plan for you. Please don’t compare yourself to others. We all have our own destinies.  “Comparison is the Thief of Joy”

Guard Your Heart...

This blog post is a very short one. I had a revelation today and I would like to share this with you. Lately I allowed situations to affect me or I would dwell on what people would say about me. It would literally take my inner peace. Today I asked myself if God would want me to feel this way. Would He want me to be worried, stressed, angry or let people’s words affect me? Of course not! God wants us to have peace. He tells us how important it is for us to protect our inner peace/our secret place. Proverbs 4:23 says: “Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.” This verse made me realise that I need to stop dwelling on things and stop allowing situations to affect me. So I can have inner peace. I hope this short message has blessed you.

Favourite nude lipsticks for Women of Colour

It’s been a while since I have posted something. I have been very busy lately. I have recently changed jobs. But I am back now!

So this blog post will be beauty related. I have been struggling to find nude lipsticks that suit my skin tone. I thought I share my current nude lipsticks that I have been wearing lately. I have used Mac’s Chestnut lip liner for all the lipsticks. I think it’s very important to use a brown lip liner when applying a nude lipstick when you are a woman of colour, as it defines the lips.  

Velvet Teddy 'Matte finish' (Mac) -  Nude Lipgloss (Catrice Cosmetics)

Verve 'Satin finish' - Mac

Cannes - Nyx Soft Matte Lip Cream

Salem - Lime Crime Velventines

God’s Perfect Timing

Hi everyone!

Wishing you all loads of love and joys on this New Year!

I hope you all had a lovely Christmas and New Year. I am very excited about this year and I can’t wait what God has in store for me in 2016!

In the beginning of January until mid January, I have been struggling with my faith. I believed for things to happen, yet they seemed unrealistic to me. One evening I had a conversation with God regarding that and He told me that ‘Faith is a thing unseen’, which corresponds with Hebrews 11:1 (NIV): ‘Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.’

I had to realise that I have to trust God and  that He will answer my heart desires in His perfect timing not when I believe that it is the right timing. Sometimes we want things so fast or don’t see the light at the end of the tunnel and end up making drastic decisions. 

We strive for the perfect job, perfect husband, perfect life… But we have to realise that life has its ups and downs and that we will eventually get to the finish line. The bumpy journey that we are currently going through will straighten out in God’s timing. This is all a learning process and I also believe that God is preparing us for the thing that we are praying for. Look at David’s story, when he was living in the wilderness, God was preparing him to fight against Goliath.

1 Samuel 17: 33 – 37 (NIV)

‘And Saul said to David, “You are not able to go against this Philistine to fight with him, for you are but a youth, and he has been a man of war from his youth.” But David said to Saul, “Your servant used to keep sheep for his father. And when there came a lion, or a bear, and took a lamb from the flock, I went after him and struck him and delivered it out of his mouth. And if he arose against me, I caught him by his beard and struck him and killed him. Your servant has struck down both lions and bears, and this uncircumcised Philistine shall be like one of them, for he has defied the armies of the living God.” And David said, “The LORD who delivered me from the paw of the lion and from the paw of the bear will deliver me from the hand of this Philistine.”’

If David wouldn’t have been in the wilderness fighting bears and lions, he would not have been prepared to fight Goliath. We have to allow God to let us go through the wilderness so that He can prepare us. We also have to realise that God’s promises upon our lives will come to past. Again lets look at David’s story:

2 Samuel 7:8 -11 (NIV)

‘Now then, tell my servant David, ‘This is what the Lord Almighty says: I took you from the pasture, from tending the flock, and appointed you ruler over my people Israel. I have been with you wherever you have gone, and I have cut off all your enemies from before you. Now I will make your name great, like the names of the greatest men on earth. And I will provide a place for my people Israel and will plant them so that they can have a home of their own and no longer be disturbed. Wicked people will not oppress them anymore, as they did at the beginning and have done ever since the time I appointed leaders over my people Israel. I will also give you rest from all your enemies. The Lord declares to you that the Lord himself will establish a house for you’

Being the youngest of 8, David was anointed king by prophet Samuel (1 Samuel 16:10-13). He did not become King until the age of 30 (2 Samuel 5:1- 4).

What we have to learn from this is that we have to trust God’s promises upon our lives. We may think that it is taking too long and we may feel ready to receive the new job or whatever we are believing God for – we must remind ourselves that only God knows when we are ready. Just be steady in your faith. When you start to doubt, keep on reminding yourself of His promises.

Also do not compare your journey with other people. Their journey is not your journey. It may have taken them less than a year to get where they wanted to be, but with comparison comes envy. By envying someone else’s life, you stop focusing your own purpose.

Galatians 6:4-5 (NIV) says that: ‘Each one should test their own actions. Then they can take pride in themselves alone, without comparing themselves to someone else, for each one should carry their own load.’

I hope this blog post has encouraged you. Trust in God’s perfect timing and keep on reminding yourself of his promises.